‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ - we all know that so why do we keep on doing it?

We tell ourselves that were going to STOP comparing but we just can’t get out of the comparison trap.

We may have one person in particular we constantly compare to and then all of a sudden there’s someone new we compare to yet the feelings are almost the same.

The thing is it’s NEVER about the person your comparing to because all comparison is is an outward projection of your internal reality.

People say ‘don’t compare’ but it’s not as simple as just stopping comparing, firstly you need to understand why you are comparing so I’ve listed some of the REAL REASONS WHY YOU ARE ALWAYS COMPARING which can enable you to take steps towards breaking the cycle.

1) YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOUR LIFE CURRENTLY IS - Happy people don’t compare. Why would they? When you are happy and at peace with your current life situation there is no reason for you to compare. You can find gratitude for what you have, peace for the season your in and always focus your thoughts on more positive things.

2) YOUR ALWAYS LOOKING OUTSIDE YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING EXTERNAL TO MAKE YOU HAPPY - Most people are waiting for the wealth before they express gratitude. Most people are waiting for healing before feeling wholeness. They are waiting for that relationship to feel loved. Waiting for someone or something outside of themselves to take away emptiness or pain. When you are constantly looking outside of yourself of course you’re going to be more aware of what is going on in other peoples lives - you keep looking in on other peoples lives which takes the focus from looking at your own state of affairs.

3) YOU HAVE FAR TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS ALTHOUGH YOU PROBABLY DON’T THINK YOU DO - people often complain about not having enough time in the day but they don’t actually look at where there spending their time. If you are always comparing, then you have an abundance of time. Just go to the settings on your iphone and check to see how much screen time your using a day as that will be a good indicator of how much time is actually being wasted on the wrong things.

4) YOU HAVE DEEP ROOTED LIMITING BELIEFS YOU NEED TO CLEAR OUT BEFORE YOU CAN STOP REPEATING THE COMPARISON PROGRAMMING - Have you ever told yourself - “Today I’m just going to stop comparing” and you manage to do just that for a few hours, or even a full day?? But even though your intentions are good; a day or two in and your straight back to comparing and producing those negative feelings. Up until this point in your life you have subconsciously programmed your mind for comparison - it’s the way your brain is currently wired. Experiences within your environment over the years have triggered you to compare almost on autopilot (so you may not even be aware that your doing it). Until you can release these limiting beliefs and change the way your brain is firing up you will keep repeating the programming.

5) YOUR ADDICTED TO THE HIT AND THE FLOOD OF EMOTIONS THAT COME WITH IT - now if you haven’t studied the brain this will likely sound a bit crazy to you but the thoughts, feelings and bodily reactions you create from comparing is giving you the same hit as drugs which is why you are addicted to doing it. We become addicted to our thoughts, they give us an unconscious adrenaline high and we find it very hard to think differently. The moment we begin to deny ourselves the substance we are addicted to, in this case - comparison thoughts, there are cravings, withdrawal pains and a host of subvocalizations urging us not to change. And so we remain chained to our familiar reality.

6) YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE - It is easier to become distracted into a state of comparison when you are not certain of who you are or what your place in the world is. Someone who truly knows themselves doesn’t feel the need to compare or look outside of themselves. When you don’t need to tear others down to lift yourself up you don’t compare - instead you choose to be inspired or motivated by others.

7) YOU HAVE NO VISION FOR YOUR FUTURE - people with vision, dreams and goals spend their time thinking about their visions, dream and goals. They programme their mind to be so clear of what they want that ultimately their actions start to match up. If your not defined by a vision of the future all your left with is memories of the past which means if your not creating a future that means your believing more in your past then your believing in your future. If your not falling in love with a new future it means your more in love with your past (and remember so much of our reactions consciously and unconsciously comes from everything that is known in the environment)

8) PEOPLE WHO COMPARE ARE NOT ACTION TAKERS - people who choose to spend more time focusing on others are not action takers. They focus more on others which takes the focus off themselves and then they find stories to justify their lack of taking action. As mentioned in point 3 - people who don’t compare spend their time wisely. They realise that comparison is the thief of joy and they won’t let anyone steal their joy (or energy for that matter). Comparing is energy draining and NEVER produces positive results.

9) YOU ARE OUTWARDLY PROJECTING YOUR INNER WORLD - when you’re stuck in a cycle of unhappiness, lack, hopelessness, fear and any other negative emotion -it eventually starts to seep out of you in the things that you say, feel and do. There’s always going to be people with more wealth than you, better looks, more success, a bigger home. Someone who doesn’t compare chooses to be inspired and admires others opposed to comparing. People who don’t compare also know that what they HAVE cannot be compared. These types of people know that its never about what your going to get (the health, wealth etc) it’s WHO your going to BECOME.

You cannot compare unconditional love, peace, joy, gratitude, exhilaration, the feelings of being alive, contentment, happiness. Perhaps if we spent more time focusing on the things that actually matter and are really important to our lives then we would have less time to compare.

Where’s your focus going and can you decide to ‘choose again?’

Fiona NgComment